Cache Valley zombies face an ultimatum – leave or starve

Leaves rustled across the deserted quad. Amidst the silence there was a faint cry. Something was struggling near Old Main. Its breath wheezed and its body lay mangled in the grass. It was dying. It hadn’t tasted human flesh in 48 hours.

Zombie students at Utah State University have been dropping dead this week as they've found it increasingly difficult to feed on human brains before their 48th hour of hunger expires. Their insatiable appetite for human flesh has diminished their food supply.

“We are getting worried because we are trying to figure out what we need to do to find food,” said Marlee Haywood, the Harbinger of Death. “Our numbers are starting to drop one by one and everyone is starving.”

Charlie Huenemann, a professor of philosophy at Utah State, said zombies need to find an alternative solution.

“What zombies should be worried about is what they’re going to do now,” Huenemann said. “They should think about farming humans, otherwise they’re going to run out of food and they’re going to die.”

The problem, Huenemann said, is that zombies lack the cognitive capabilities required to come up with the idea on their own — and he’s not going to tell them.

Scott DeBerard, a professor of psychology at Utah State, said it’s survival of the fittest. Zombies will have to hunt for food elsewhere in order to sustain their gluttonous appetites.

“They’re going to leave Cache Valley,” DeBerard said, “then go to Weber State — maybe even to the U.”

Jason Leiker, a professor of sociology at Utah State, agreed.

“I think they’re going to wander off campus,” Leiker said. “Hopefully they go south toward Ogden and not back up toward us. I’m not armed with enough Nerf pellets to defend myself.”

But Leiker added that zombie extinction is too good to be true.

“As a sociologist, I am confident in their abilities to survive and I don’t think they’re going away,” Leiker said. “Every year the zombies win and every year they sort of disappear. But they’ll come back in the spring when the weather turns nice.”
 

As it turns out, The Horde is planning to leave Utah State.

“We’re going to leave campus and find our food in other places,” Haywood said. “College kids tend to be the most tasty, so we’ll go to college campuses and spread infection as much as we can. We’ll kill off humans one by one until they are completely gone.”

UnDeadline reporters Lauren Petty, Madeline Millburn, Manda Perkins and Jisa Robinson contributed to this report. 

Lone soldier lives to tell the horrors of zombie war

Cameron Alpers sprinted into the Utah State University Junction at 9:25 p.m. Thursday night, out of breath and alone.

“I can’t believe I made it,” said Alpers, who wore only running shoes, red shorts and a large Texas flag draped over his shoulders. “My adrenalin is pumping.”

Out of 707 humans who began the war Alpers was the only survivor.

“I started the mission in a group of 14 humans,” Alpers said. “It was a sprint the entire way. I never stopped.”

Throughout the week, many humans had a strategy of staying together to defend against The Horde.

Plans changed on Thursday, though.

“It was every human for themselves tonight,” Alpers said. “You couldn’t worry about your friends. I did what I thought was best for myself.”

With blood dripping down his cheek from taking a gun to his face during the final battle, Alpers knew luck was on his side.

“Along the way I could hear human screams,” Alpers said. “I could hear The Horde crushing the human skulls as they gobbled up the brains.”

One of those screams came from James Merrill, who started the night in the same human group as Alpers.

“I was running right next to Cameron in the shadows by The University Inn,” Merrill said. “The next thing I know I am on the ground getting eaten alive. It’s amazing Cameron made it through. I didn’t think anyone would.”

Alpers did his best to block out the horrific images he saw along the way.

“I am out of bullets, I have no grenades left but I made it,” Alpers said. “The zombies are brutal. They won’t give you anything. I had to earn this.”

Not even those who hunted him could deny the feat he had accomplished.

“He watched his friends die as he sprinted through hell,” said Omega, a zombie captain with bits of human flesh stuck in his teeth. “I give the guy mad props.”

Although Solomon, who previously was a human leader, was now part of The Horde, he couldn’t help but feel proud to see a former comrade survive.

“That kid is a stud. He rocked it going through,” said Solomon, who had oozing claw marks gashed in his face. “With that many zombies you have to be fast to make it and he was.”

While Alpers survived the battle, he realizes the war is far from over.

“I don’t know what is next. There’s no one left to fight and I am the only survivor,” Alpers said. “I am not going to live in fear anymore; it will be nice being able to walk around without being paranoid. But I’ll be back with reinforcements to make another stand.”

UnDeadline reporters Michael Royer, Becca Golver, Paul Christiansen, Jessica Wardell and Joseph Meadows contributed to this report. 

USU biologists find cause and treatment of zombie outbreak

Zombies aren’t zombies.

That’s the conclusion of biologists from Utah State University’s Institute for Antiviral Research, who held a press conference Friday morning in the Sunburst Lounge to announce the findings of research into the cause and treatment of the current zombie epidemic.

 "Zombies are a tragedy of unsolved medical questions," said USU professor Sarah Supp who has a PhD in biology. Her research reveals those infected are victims of a new super virus that causes symptoms similar to rabies and mirrors zombie characteristics.

 “When individuals come into contact with the zombie virus, their nervous system is overridden and suppressed in a coma-like state,” Supp said. “Essentially they become hollow shells controlled by the whims of the pathogen.”

 In order for a person to become infected, they must receive a massive dose of the virus. The virus is spread through contact with the bodily fluids of those who have already been infected.

“By biting their victims, zombies introduce the pathogen directly into the blood stream and bypass several parts of the human immune system,” Supp said. “Within minutes, the pathogen spreads throughout the body and begins taking over.”

Dale Barnard, a virologist from the IAR, said his research team has been working on a retroviral vaccine that is currently being used for emergency treatment of those infected by the zombie virus.

“After we developed an animal model to test the retrovirus, we began administering it to stunned zombies,” Barnard said. “It was a little slower than we expected because this was a new viral agent, but all signs point to a recovery to normal bodily and neural function.”

Once the infected individuals have been treated, the retroviral vaccine will be administered at the Student Health and Wellness Center and other local health institutions.

UnDeadline reporters Erin Davies, Jonathan Larson, Kellianne Smith and Natalie Thatcher contributed to this report.

Scientists say undead aren't, remedy proposed

They have been called ghoulish, undead, rotting carcasses and infected. But according to new research, released Friday morning, zombies at Utah State University should no longer be classified as living dead.

Actually, the infected students are experiencing the effects of a parasite. 

“The students aren’t really dead,” said Greg Podgorski, an associate professor in the Department of Biology. “They are just experiencing behavioral changes because of the presence of toxoplasmosis, a parasitic disease.”

“It is actually pretty obvious when you think about it,” said Erika Lovett, a second-year biochemistry undergraduate. “The affected students don’t eat brains while indoors. They just act a little different.”

Severe toxoplasmosis affects the brain and eyes, causes lymph nodes throughout the body to swell, develops cysts in muscles and nerves and causes schizophrenia. 

“To reverse the effects of the parasite the zombie would have to take an anti-malarial medication called Pyrimethamine,” Podgorski said. “It would have to be a large enough dose to interfere with the RNA and DNA synthesis in the affected.”

Some “zombies,” like Shantell Ostler and Jason Parker, are eager to receive the treatment.

“I would take a cure,” Ostler said. “When the humans face off with me, I know I can’t win.”

“I’m not as confident as a zombie as I am a human,” Parker said.

But not everyone wants a cure.

“I'm proud to be a member of the Horde. The knowledge that I'm serving my people is intrinsically motivating,” Kjersti Matheson said.

Lovett acknowledged that some members of the infected population could be more difficult to cure. Friends, roommates or family members would have to take extreme measures to administer the treatment.

“The zombie would probably have to be tackled and then tied down.” Lovett said. “Once the zombie stops trying to eat brains, it can stop receiving the medication.”

UnDeadline reporters Matt Walker, Chris Larsen, Kelsy Ensign, Summer Taylor and Skylar Christensen contributed to this report.

Fate's fate: Undeath at the hands of a former ally

Dunomis “Fate” Fatalis was killed Thursday night by Solomon Razorbane Ruhe.

Ruhe, a human harbinger who is generally immune to undeath, began Thursday evening’s final battle fighting side by side with Fatalis.

Fatalis said before the battle that he was aware that Ruhe had earlier been infected, but was confident in his comrade.

“Solomon can control it because he is a Harbinger,” Fatalis said. “He doesn’t want to eat everyone’s brains. So he will continue to lead the human troops and hopefully find the cure.”

But in the midst of a clash that pitted a small group of humans against a zombie contingent twice its size, old age and exhaustion got the best of Ruhe, a respected zombie-killing veteran.

“It was pretty intense because there was a mass of 40 zombies headed toward our 20 people,” Jordan Fultz said. “We were just trying to fire on them as best we could. We had to think fast, it was really nerve-wracking.”

Fatalis fought his way through the Horde and defeated zombie leaders Alpha and Omega, but by then, Ruhe was far too weak to resist any longer.

“It was really tough to see him finally turned,” Harbinger Tori Winslow said. “He had resisted so long I figured it was only a matter of time. I just hope now he doesn't come for my brains.”

Ruhe turned his axe on Fatalis, who defended himself with his swords for a short time before being disarmed.

With that, Ruhe ripped the flesh from Fatalis’ neck and ate it. The zombies swarmed around the human’s fallen leader, fighting for a piece of his brain.

Fatalis will be remembered as a respected leader of the human resistance.

“Every time I have been with Fatalis I came away alive,” Fultz said. “He had a strong presence. It was kind of comforting to know he was there. He had been through it all and always knew what to do.”

“I had hoped that he'd be around to lead the humans beyond this,” Winslow said. “Now they really don't have a leader.”

UnDeadline reporters Matt Walker, Chris Larsen, Kelsy Ensign, Summer Taylor and Skylar Christensen contributed to this report.

With human captain's capture, prey becomes predator

Capt. John Kuhl walked down the Quad at Utah State University on Thursday morning much like he had done since the war began.

But something was different.

With every step he took, blood dripped from Kuhl’s body onto the cement. Half of his face was missing. He had no machine gun. And his military hat was now covered with an orange bandana.

Kuhl was a zombie.

“There were only three human captains remaining for last night’s mission: myself, Capt. Bravo and Solomon,” Kuhl said. “Each of us were leading 10 men into the battle. The zombies were everywhere.”

For the first time since the war began, zombies now outnumbered humans.

“They were chasing us from the beginning of the mission,” Kuhl said. “I led my men onto the gazebo in back of the Biology and Natural Resources building, or the BNR. For the time being, we were safe.”

But the human forces have a leave-no-man-behind mentality — so when another faction of resistance fighters was in trouble, it was time to make a decision.

“Word of Solomon’s group being in trouble spread over the radios,” Kuhl said. “As a group we decided to make a run for it and try to help.”

Kuhl and his men left the safety of the BNR and raced toward the library.

“My men and I were spotted just as we started running,” Kuhl said. “I ordered my soldiers to hide in the bushes since there were too many zombies to outrun.”

The decision to leave the BNR proved to be the demise of Kuhl and his men.

“The zombies swarmed us,” Kuhl said. “The last thing I remember is being on my back and seeing the mouths of the undead feasting on my body.”

The captain is now experiencing the opposite side of the war.

“It’s a luxury to have been a human captain,” Kuhl said. “I share all of my knowledge and involvement with The Horde now.”

Nolan Wilcock served as one of Kuhl’s men for two days before a group of the undead caught him on the way to class.

“Kuhl is a great leader,” Wilcock said, pieces of flesh from his last human meal falling out of his mouth as he spoke. “I am glad we are back on the same side of this war again. For the winning side.”

In addition to Wilcock, Kuhl captained many other humans who are now members of The Horde.

Jorri Falslev and Cody Patterson fought with Kuhl as humans before being turned into undead.

“It’s great he is a zombie now,” Falslev said. “He has so much information to share about the human strategies.”

Many who once fought alongside Kuhl as humans are now eager to hunt with him as members of The Horde.

“The Horde is all on the same page,” Patterson said. “There is only one thing on our minds: consuming as much human blood and brains as we can get.”

Kuhl captained a human unit for nearly four days before getting caught. Now he shows no sympathy for the living.

“I used to be the hunted,” Kuhl said. “Now I am the hunter. I like it that way.”

UnDeadline reporters Michael Royer, Becca Golver, Paul Christiansen, Jessica Wardell and Joseph Meadows contributed to this report.

Zombie ambushes decimate human contingents, undead food supply

Zombies waited in the darkness sniffing the air for the scent of approaching humans.

On Wednesday night, Capt. Solomon Razorbane Ruhe led his company of 40 humans on a mission to identify and eliminate Lazura, one of the zombie captains. En route Ruhe’s contingent encountered multiple hordes of zombies.

R.I.P. (Rest In Pieces)
Capt. Thaddeus Beal
and Sgt. Tony Edwards

The expanding groups of zombies prowling Utah State’s campus are becoming increasingly ferocious, Ruhe and his fellow fighters found. The undead have been unable to satisfy their growing hunger due to a lack of victims. Human numbers have rapidly dwindled in the past three days, leaving only a few resistance fighters.

Alex Petersen and Nikolay Hacking were two of the eight humans who survived the Wednesday onslaught.

“We were supposed to find Lazura and then call in support,” Petersen said. “We were getting close when we were discovered.”

Ammunition ran low and survivors were forced to flee for their lives across campus.

“Speed was the best option in that situation,” Hacking said. “We watched almost all of the men in our company get wiped out.”

Peterson became separated from the other humans and made his way through the darkness to the company’s command post, his heart pounding.

“I thought I was the only survivor,” Petersen said. “But back at headquarters I found out there were seven others from my company that made it.”

Another squad led by Sgt. Tony Edwards was tasked with finding and destroying the zombie headquarters. Edwards’ squad also suffered casualties.

“We got funneled in an alleyway between the business building and the Lund building,” Edwards said. “The horde followed us in and I tried to lead the horde away. I was.... sacrificing myself. Another horde came around and I emptied a full clip into the horde before they got me.”

UnDeadline reporters Addison Hall, Blake DeVries, Brooklin Peterson, Kyle Heywood, Ryan Gudmunson and Tavin Stucki contributed to this report.  

Solomon and Fate join forces to fight final battle

Previously separated by philosophical differences, the surviving soldiers of two human factions agreed to join forces for Thursday’s final battle.

The human Fate Faction believed in finding a cure for the undead. The Solomon Faction sought zombie genocide. But now the two factions have found common ground: survival

“We reached out to Solomon because there is a shortage of humans,” said Jeremy Baker, the Fate’s leader. “They want to end the plague tonight and together they can accomplish that feat.”

Former Solomon captain Thaddeus Leavy Beal said his forces were “essentially massacred.”

“Maybe 20 are still alive,” Beal said. “So they're joining forces with Fate's men.”

“I’m glad we’re teaming up the factions,” said Janel Peterson, a human in the Fate Faction. “Without it, it’d be insta-death out there.”

Beal believes the union of the two teams may give the humans a chance.

“I think that the two forces will be able to rally the troops enough to at least give the zombies a fight,” he said.

They’ll be doing it without Beal, though.

Beal captain sacrificed himself on Wednesday afternoon for his troops. Though he has now joined the undead, his devotion to his human team is undying, and he has fought the urge to hunt.

 “Scraps have been keeping me going,” Beal said.

But his condition is inescapable.

“My brain mass has deteriorated quite a bit in my infected state,” said Beal as his rotten flesh sagged from his face. “My human ties are memory based at best.”

UnDeadline reporters Janessa Colton, Misty Inglet, Anna James, Kevin Meacham and Dawn Otterby contributed to this report.

After week of training, one last stand

With human numbers dwindling at Utah State University, zombies are running out of people to feed on.

And that has left both sides desperate.

To settle the conflict, leaders have agreed to a last stand to settle the conflict.

Humans were to meet on the Quad at 9 p.m. Thursday night, where they would either fight off the zombie horde or die.

“All we can do is hope the remaining humans show up tonight ready to fight,” said Rebecca Nielson, a captain for the human forces. “If they make it through it has been arranged that they will be transported to safety by helicopter.”

Those who remain have been training for this moment all week.

Kelvin Bloxham, a human soldier, attributed his survival to the training he has received.

“The day missions have definitely helped me prepare for the night missions,” Bloxham said. “Every single night mission has corresponded for what we train for during the day.”

On Monday the humans were taught how to deal with groups of zombies rushing at them.

“It was a chance for the humans to get together to learn how to use their weapons,” Nielson said. “We also discussed different ways to repel zombies.”

For Tuesday’s training exercise the captains put together a “zombie safari.” They learned how to combat against zombified animals such as elephants, monkeys, gazelles and crabs.

“My group tried to do a turtle formation, where we surrounded our bombers, which worked until the bombers failed and we got trampled by the elephants,” Bloxham said. “We learned that everyone has to be on the same page or our tactics will fail. It was a good lesson about teamwork.”

On Wednesday, after some human captains were captured by the zombies, those left behind tested their rescue mission tactics with a match of capture the flag.

“The training session helped everyone prepare to rescue the leaders that are crucial to our cause,” said Kyler Jensen, a captain who helped organize the trainings. ”All of our training has led to Thursday night.”

UnDeadline reporters Bradley Wells, Hannah Romney, Christopher Farnes, Ronald Henline and Sarah Menlove contributed to this report.

Plenty of blood spilt, but water balloons fail to make a splash

Campus police stood watch during Wednesday’s mission on The Quad after UnDeadline reported immune humans were planning to attack zombies with water balloons.

Upon hearing law enforcement had been contacted, Brian Isom withdrew his previous statement that an attack was planned.

"I was just kidding," Isom said.

Isom had earlier claimed to have not only picked a time and location for his attack, but also was at work constructing balloon launchers.

Some questioned the motives of police in thwarting Isom’s plan.

"They're just making excuses to defend zombies," said Kolya Bondarenko, a fellow human. "They’re zombie lovers."

The officer on site said he was doing his job to keep people safe.

"We would have pressed charges if they had thrown water balloons," said Sgt. Joe Huish, while overlooking the battle. "There's a city ordinance against water balloons being thrown at unwilling persons."

The bowel-spilling, brain-eating battle that played out before him, though, appeared not to arouse any concern for Huish.

Some wanted to see an attack by immune humans.

"I hope they still do it," said Mason Kafi, a fellow noncombatant. "That would be really funny."

Bondarenko agreed.

"It was a hot day,” Bondarenko said. “Why not have a water balloon fight?"

UnDeadline reporters Stefani Lewis, Cory Checketts, Kori Slager, Heidi Smith and Aimee Cobabe contributed to this report.