 |
| Zombies have been found all over Utah State's campus over the past week. |
“No one really knows where the virus cropped up, but all of a sudden it was in a few places all around the world,” said Lauren Lucas, a researcher in the Department of Biology at Utah State who is one of many scientists attempting to solve the mysteries of the virus. “For one to get the virus, it has to directly get into the bloodstream.”
Upon reaching the brain from the bloodstream, the virus proceeds to shut down all regions of the brain, save for the amygdala, the section responsible for human rage.
“That’s why zombies are so angry,” Lucas said. “Rage is the only thing on their minds because the amygdala is one of the only things that are active.”
The zombie virus also severs the neural connection between the brain and the stomach.
“This makes it so zombies can never tell when they are full,” Lucas said. “That’s why they never stop eating and eating.”
“We cannot underestimate the power of the plague and how quickly it can spread,” said Tori Winslow, president of the League of Supernatural Nations. “All of your friends that you know today could very well be zombies tomorrow. You just have to be careful.”
Scientists are currently working on a vaccine but it is a slow process.
“It takes a long time,” Lucas said. “We still haven’t gotten vaccines for major viruses like AIDS, but now no one is even worrying about AIDS anymore, we are just worrying about the zombie virus. It’s risky business, but we are doing it for humanity.”
Lucas recommended that members of the public could help search for the cure. Meanwhile, she said, survivors should consider finding hiding places that can sustain life for a long period of time.
Not all scientists agree on the cause for the gruesome zombie-like state of the humans.
“Here is what is really happening: Students are combining the sacred Datura plant extracts with newt toxins most likely stolen from the Brodie Lab in the biology department,” said Richard Mueller, the associate dean of the College of Science at USU.
According to Mueller, the Datura plant is grown throughout Utah as a garden ornamental and would not be difficult for people to obtain.
“These are toxins being studied in the biology department as research on an evolutionary arms race between toxic salamanders and garter snakes that prey on them and a sample was probably taken by a student — now zombie — worker,” Mueller said.
“Over time the garter snakes have become more and more resistant to the toxins unlike our unfortunate former human friends who have become zombified by ingesting this toxic brew,” Mueller said. “The effects will wear off in a few days. I advise staying inside until the danger has passed.”
Casey Cresswell, a human at USU, said he doesn’t believe that the zombies need to be cured at all.
“Zombies are the cure, because they are a higher form of life. They don’t care anymore about things that we care about,” Cresswell said. “They don’t have any family or friend problems. They don’t have to date anybody. They don’t have to worry about school. All they have to worry about is eating, and that’s why they are the cure.”
UnDeadline reporters Dominic Bohne, Sierra Copeland, Jamie Keyes, Jaimie Son and Katie Larsen contributed to this report.
