Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Human numbers fall in north campus battle

Members of the human resistance army prepare for battle against a zombie horde on Tuesday night. 

After a long day of battling zombies, a beleaguered band of humans assembled Tuesday evening to collect supplies and reinforce fellow combatants. By the end of the night, many of the humans had suffered a ghastly undeath, while others were struggling to trust one another. 

The humans built a barricade near the north side of Utah State University’s campus for their new operating base. Shortly after beginning the project, the zombies attacked. 

The desire for human flesh compelled the zombies as they charged toward the humans' shelter. The humans protected themselves with Nerf projectiles and sock bombs, both of which are known to be toxic to the undead. 

“Make sure you have socks at the ready because guns do jam,” resistance militia commander Gen. Sparkles told the gathered humans as they awaited the attack. 

“Keep it tight,” said human Gen. Jon Kuhl. “We out number them.”

Arms and legs were left strewn across the battlefield as the human defenses — and trust — were compromised. 
  
“It was so intense. The whole time I thought I was going to die and I couldn’t trust the people behind me,” said human Leslie Bredthauer.  

Human commanders reported that moral was high before the battle, but as undeath took hold of many among their ranks, the atmosphere quickly changed. 

“The zombies rushed, and we were all spread out," human Cassandra Collard said. "We were running for our lives.”

“I have seen so many people die in front of me,” said human Jacob Tibbitts.

Paranoia is now the overriding emotion for many of the surviving humans.

“I can’t trust anyone,” said human Dylan Jones, who said one of the greatest challenges of being human was "looking over your shoulder every time."

Zombies are infecting more people than many human combatant leaders had predicted, but there still is hope for the human race, said Eric Van Nieuwenhutzen. 

“Hide first, then run, then fight," Van Nieuwenhutzen said. "If you follow those rules you will make it." 


UnDeadline reporters Dominic Bohne, Sierra Copeland, Jamie Keyes, Jaimie Son, and Katie Larsen contributed to this report.