Cache Valley zombies face an ultimatum – leave or starve

Leaves rustled across the deserted quad. Amidst the silence there was a faint cry. Something was struggling near Old Main. Its breath wheezed and its body lay mangled in the grass. It was dying. It hadn’t tasted human flesh in 48 hours.

Zombie students at Utah State University have been dropping dead this week as they've found it increasingly difficult to feed on human brains before their 48th hour of hunger expires. Their insatiable appetite for human flesh has diminished their food supply.

“We are getting worried because we are trying to figure out what we need to do to find food,” said Marlee Haywood, the Harbinger of Death. “Our numbers are starting to drop one by one and everyone is starving.”

Charlie Huenemann, a professor of philosophy at Utah State, said zombies need to find an alternative solution.

“What zombies should be worried about is what they’re going to do now,” Huenemann said. “They should think about farming humans, otherwise they’re going to run out of food and they’re going to die.”

The problem, Huenemann said, is that zombies lack the cognitive capabilities required to come up with the idea on their own — and he’s not going to tell them.

Scott DeBerard, a professor of psychology at Utah State, said it’s survival of the fittest. Zombies will have to hunt for food elsewhere in order to sustain their gluttonous appetites.

“They’re going to leave Cache Valley,” DeBerard said, “then go to Weber State — maybe even to the U.”

Jason Leiker, a professor of sociology at Utah State, agreed.

“I think they’re going to wander off campus,” Leiker said. “Hopefully they go south toward Ogden and not back up toward us. I’m not armed with enough Nerf pellets to defend myself.”

But Leiker added that zombie extinction is too good to be true.

“As a sociologist, I am confident in their abilities to survive and I don’t think they’re going away,” Leiker said. “Every year the zombies win and every year they sort of disappear. But they’ll come back in the spring when the weather turns nice.”
 

As it turns out, The Horde is planning to leave Utah State.

“We’re going to leave campus and find our food in other places,” Haywood said. “College kids tend to be the most tasty, so we’ll go to college campuses and spread infection as much as we can. We’ll kill off humans one by one until they are completely gone.”

UnDeadline reporters Lauren Petty, Madeline Millburn, Manda Perkins and Jisa Robinson contributed to this report. 

Lone soldier lives to tell the horrors of zombie war

Cameron Alpers sprinted into the Utah State University Junction at 9:25 p.m. Thursday night, out of breath and alone.

“I can’t believe I made it,” said Alpers, who wore only running shoes, red shorts and a large Texas flag draped over his shoulders. “My adrenalin is pumping.”

Out of 707 humans who began the war Alpers was the only survivor.

“I started the mission in a group of 14 humans,” Alpers said. “It was a sprint the entire way. I never stopped.”

Throughout the week, many humans had a strategy of staying together to defend against The Horde.

Plans changed on Thursday, though.

“It was every human for themselves tonight,” Alpers said. “You couldn’t worry about your friends. I did what I thought was best for myself.”

With blood dripping down his cheek from taking a gun to his face during the final battle, Alpers knew luck was on his side.

“Along the way I could hear human screams,” Alpers said. “I could hear The Horde crushing the human skulls as they gobbled up the brains.”

One of those screams came from James Merrill, who started the night in the same human group as Alpers.

“I was running right next to Cameron in the shadows by The University Inn,” Merrill said. “The next thing I know I am on the ground getting eaten alive. It’s amazing Cameron made it through. I didn’t think anyone would.”

Alpers did his best to block out the horrific images he saw along the way.

“I am out of bullets, I have no grenades left but I made it,” Alpers said. “The zombies are brutal. They won’t give you anything. I had to earn this.”

Not even those who hunted him could deny the feat he had accomplished.

“He watched his friends die as he sprinted through hell,” said Omega, a zombie captain with bits of human flesh stuck in his teeth. “I give the guy mad props.”

Although Solomon, who previously was a human leader, was now part of The Horde, he couldn’t help but feel proud to see a former comrade survive.

“That kid is a stud. He rocked it going through,” said Solomon, who had oozing claw marks gashed in his face. “With that many zombies you have to be fast to make it and he was.”

While Alpers survived the battle, he realizes the war is far from over.

“I don’t know what is next. There’s no one left to fight and I am the only survivor,” Alpers said. “I am not going to live in fear anymore; it will be nice being able to walk around without being paranoid. But I’ll be back with reinforcements to make another stand.”

UnDeadline reporters Michael Royer, Becca Golver, Paul Christiansen, Jessica Wardell and Joseph Meadows contributed to this report. 

USU biologists find cause and treatment of zombie outbreak

Zombies aren’t zombies.

That’s the conclusion of biologists from Utah State University’s Institute for Antiviral Research, who held a press conference Friday morning in the Sunburst Lounge to announce the findings of research into the cause and treatment of the current zombie epidemic.

 "Zombies are a tragedy of unsolved medical questions," said USU professor Sarah Supp who has a PhD in biology. Her research reveals those infected are victims of a new super virus that causes symptoms similar to rabies and mirrors zombie characteristics.

 “When individuals come into contact with the zombie virus, their nervous system is overridden and suppressed in a coma-like state,” Supp said. “Essentially they become hollow shells controlled by the whims of the pathogen.”

 In order for a person to become infected, they must receive a massive dose of the virus. The virus is spread through contact with the bodily fluids of those who have already been infected.

“By biting their victims, zombies introduce the pathogen directly into the blood stream and bypass several parts of the human immune system,” Supp said. “Within minutes, the pathogen spreads throughout the body and begins taking over.”

Dale Barnard, a virologist from the IAR, said his research team has been working on a retroviral vaccine that is currently being used for emergency treatment of those infected by the zombie virus.

“After we developed an animal model to test the retrovirus, we began administering it to stunned zombies,” Barnard said. “It was a little slower than we expected because this was a new viral agent, but all signs point to a recovery to normal bodily and neural function.”

Once the infected individuals have been treated, the retroviral vaccine will be administered at the Student Health and Wellness Center and other local health institutions.

UnDeadline reporters Erin Davies, Jonathan Larson, Kellianne Smith and Natalie Thatcher contributed to this report.

Scientists say undead aren't, remedy proposed

They have been called ghoulish, undead, rotting carcasses and infected. But according to new research, released Friday morning, zombies at Utah State University should no longer be classified as living dead.

Actually, the infected students are experiencing the effects of a parasite. 

“The students aren’t really dead,” said Greg Podgorski, an associate professor in the Department of Biology. “They are just experiencing behavioral changes because of the presence of toxoplasmosis, a parasitic disease.”

“It is actually pretty obvious when you think about it,” said Erika Lovett, a second-year biochemistry undergraduate. “The affected students don’t eat brains while indoors. They just act a little different.”

Severe toxoplasmosis affects the brain and eyes, causes lymph nodes throughout the body to swell, develops cysts in muscles and nerves and causes schizophrenia. 

“To reverse the effects of the parasite the zombie would have to take an anti-malarial medication called Pyrimethamine,” Podgorski said. “It would have to be a large enough dose to interfere with the RNA and DNA synthesis in the affected.”

Some “zombies,” like Shantell Ostler and Jason Parker, are eager to receive the treatment.

“I would take a cure,” Ostler said. “When the humans face off with me, I know I can’t win.”

“I’m not as confident as a zombie as I am a human,” Parker said.

But not everyone wants a cure.

“I'm proud to be a member of the Horde. The knowledge that I'm serving my people is intrinsically motivating,” Kjersti Matheson said.

Lovett acknowledged that some members of the infected population could be more difficult to cure. Friends, roommates or family members would have to take extreme measures to administer the treatment.

“The zombie would probably have to be tackled and then tied down.” Lovett said. “Once the zombie stops trying to eat brains, it can stop receiving the medication.”

UnDeadline reporters Matt Walker, Chris Larsen, Kelsy Ensign, Summer Taylor and Skylar Christensen contributed to this report.

Fate's fate: Undeath at the hands of a former ally

Dunomis “Fate” Fatalis was killed Thursday night by Solomon Razorbane Ruhe.

Ruhe, a human harbinger who is generally immune to undeath, began Thursday evening’s final battle fighting side by side with Fatalis.

Fatalis said before the battle that he was aware that Ruhe had earlier been infected, but was confident in his comrade.

“Solomon can control it because he is a Harbinger,” Fatalis said. “He doesn’t want to eat everyone’s brains. So he will continue to lead the human troops and hopefully find the cure.”

But in the midst of a clash that pitted a small group of humans against a zombie contingent twice its size, old age and exhaustion got the best of Ruhe, a respected zombie-killing veteran.

“It was pretty intense because there was a mass of 40 zombies headed toward our 20 people,” Jordan Fultz said. “We were just trying to fire on them as best we could. We had to think fast, it was really nerve-wracking.”

Fatalis fought his way through the Horde and defeated zombie leaders Alpha and Omega, but by then, Ruhe was far too weak to resist any longer.

“It was really tough to see him finally turned,” Harbinger Tori Winslow said. “He had resisted so long I figured it was only a matter of time. I just hope now he doesn't come for my brains.”

Ruhe turned his axe on Fatalis, who defended himself with his swords for a short time before being disarmed.

With that, Ruhe ripped the flesh from Fatalis’ neck and ate it. The zombies swarmed around the human’s fallen leader, fighting for a piece of his brain.

Fatalis will be remembered as a respected leader of the human resistance.

“Every time I have been with Fatalis I came away alive,” Fultz said. “He had a strong presence. It was kind of comforting to know he was there. He had been through it all and always knew what to do.”

“I had hoped that he'd be around to lead the humans beyond this,” Winslow said. “Now they really don't have a leader.”

UnDeadline reporters Matt Walker, Chris Larsen, Kelsy Ensign, Summer Taylor and Skylar Christensen contributed to this report.