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| Gen. Jon Kuhl has twice experienced life as a zombie. The veteran tactician believe those experiences have helped him prepare for the most recent outbreak. |
What began as a scouting mission Tuesday night ended in a bloody massacre for human troops under Gen. Jon Kuhl’s command.
“In the chaos of last night, I lost count," of the casualties, Kuhl said on Wednesday. “I have no idea as far as numbers go.”
In his eighth tour of duty — and his first as a general in the human army — Kuhl has become accustomed to losing friends in the seemingly endless war on zombies.
“You have to put emotion aside,” Kuhl said. “They’re zombies. Their single goal is to devour your flesh.”
For Kuhl, friends have become enemies and roommates have become targets. However, Kuhl doesn’t let the emotional strain of the war slow him down.
“Once you lose a friend, they’re not your friend anymore.” Kuhl said. “You just have to cope and move on.”
Kuhl’s extensive experience with the war has facilitated his rise to power, becoming one of the chief generals of the human army. Since the war on zombies began in 2010, Kuhl has studied the layout of USU’s campus, as well as the tactics of former leaders.
“From the very first semester, I learned the campus pretty well. I found all the ins and outs, all the unlocked doors, the back routes that the zombies still have not found,” Kuhl said. “In the first couple semesters, I learned from some of the best that are no longer with us, so I definitely attribute it to them.”
Kuhl has succumbed to the zombie virus twice in the past, but has since recovered. His experiences as a zombie have been advantageous in his leadership position in the human army.
“I don’t remember much, other than the need for flesh,” Kuhl said. “It’s quite horrible. But now I more fully understand the horde mentality.”
Leslie Bredthauer, who was among the human troops caught in Tuesday night’s skirmish, attributes her survival to Kuhl’s leadership.
“He gave me good advice on how to survive at the night mission, so I survived, luckily,” Bredthauer said.
Humans aren’t the only ones who are aware of the advantage that Kuhl is to the human army. Kuhl has received several email threats from the Original Zombie, Dylan Jones.
“May your fear and paranoia grow by the minute,” Jones wrote in an email to Kuhl. “Know that around every corner, in every alleyway, we will be waiting and we will be hungry.”
Jones’ email concluded: “Hail Omega, King of the Dead. The way is shut. It was made by those that are dead. And the dead shall keep it.”
Due to extensive doses of antidotes made available to him by the League of Supernatural Nations, Kuhl currently has immunity, meaning he can’t become a zombie. He understands, though, that his immunity will likely wear off in a few days.
Still, Kuhl remains hopeful.
Still, Kuhl remains hopeful.
“If my immunity wears off, I’ll have to start bringing more and more ammunition, rallying the troops, having humans mass in groups,” Kuhl said. “For every human, we can take out three zombies. So if we have a group of three, we can take out a decent-sized horde. A group of five, almost unstoppable.”
UnDeadline reporters Bradley Bair, Marley McClune, Morgan Jacobsen, Eliza Welsh and Jeff Dahdah contributed to this report.
